Woobie Boobie

So I am NOT an author or a distinguished scholar truth be told I didn't even graduate high school (thank you GED). I'm just some chick with a head packed full of stupid ideas and funny thoughts. Thoughts that I only think are funny most of the time.
So I'm not here to impress or seek approval I'm just jotting some crap down.

I have a chihuahua that is about 10 years old now. I call him woobie. His real name is Pito. But I give him stupid names all the time. So he has about 40 by now. Words can not express my love for this stinky,chubby, bug eyed, cute ball of mush.

He was found by an idiot behind a tire of a moving truck in Brooklyn 10 years ago. Woobie was skinny with ribs sticking out and in no mood to be my friend. But he came around after some chicken and a bath. I have had him ever since. He is my diary my buddy and my baby. He has knee problems and he smells weird all the time. He barks at my husband when he tries to move off the couch. He snores loud and makes noises like a pig. He farts and burps and is just gross sometimes.

My husband has given him a voice. I think it's Antonio Banderas. So he makes woobie talk to me in that voice for a few years now. So even when he is not around to make the voice I know that whatever woobie is thinking its in the voice of Puss in boots and the nassonex bee. So that makes my dog even more human. I have danced around and sang horribly to him. He has seen me at my most lowest points and at the height of my happiness and all the in between points and he loves me unconditionally. ❤❤❤